HOW TO COOK FRIED RICE WITH FEELINGS (ORIGINAL)

Heat 2 tablespoons of cooking oil in a wide pan. Pero yung katamtaman na init lang ha. Hindi yung kasing init na pagsasama natin noon. Unti unti ng lumalamig di ba?

COUNTRIES AND THEIR MEANING IN FILIPINO

KENYA:
/kaya mo?/
/hindi sa iyo/ 

GRENADA:
/pampasabog/
/si Gary/

My Very Own MINSAN QUOTES (Volume I)

SIOPAO -
Minsan meryenda,
Minsan pisngi mo...

ANO KAYA SASABIHIN NG OFFICE FORMS?

If only office forms could talk, what do you think they will say?

1. Plenty of suspension of classes due to weather disturbances

2. And classes are suspended when students are already in school

3. Bus drivers who drive ala Formula One

4. Filipinos love to multi-task: driving and texting at the same time

5. Puregold everywhere. And Puregold Jr.

6. Almost everybody has a facebook account. And an impostor account.

7. Exotic food like botcha

8. Exotic medicine like tuko

9. Firecrackers enough to alarm North Korea

10. Glutathione galore

11. Internet shop everywhere

12. As well as tiangges, and generic botikas

13. Sexy billboards

14. Belo Essentials: belo nose, and belo body

15. Corned tuna. And tuna hotdog.

:)     :)     :)

Funny Pick-Up Lines (original)

Sana gabi na…….

Kasi you already made my day.

(lupet! hilahin mo nga ang buwan.)

Ayoko na mag-aral…….

Kasi, aanhin ko pa ang karunungan, kung ikaw naman na ang laman
ng utak ko.

(B.S. Pagmamahal, cum laude)

Some Rhymes

Si Andy

Jess: Sir Tristan, paano processing natin ng ID?
Tristan: Tanongin po natin si Ma'am Precie. Ma'am Prec!
Prec: Yes po!
Tristan: Paano processing natin ng ID?
Prec: Si coach Andy? Athletics Coordinator natin siya. 
           M-W-F siya andito.
Tristan: Ha? ID ang tinatanong ko!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Si Janilyn

Prec: Kain tayo sa Danny-Licious! Masarap barbecue dun!
           Tara Ma'am Hidalgo kain tayo dun.
Tristan: Saan ba 'yan?
Prec: Diyan lang sa Project 4.
Tristan: Ano ba meron dun sa Danny-Licious?
Prec: Ang sarap ng barbecue dun!
Del: Janilyn Shoes? Bakit may barbecue na ba dun?
Tristan: Danny-Licious Ma'am! 

Ano Ang Pinagkaiba? (Vol.II)

nadurog : broken into pieces

napisat : na-flat

napisa : nag-burst, pumutok

napulbos : nadurog tas’ naging 

           pino

hiwa : cut

laslas : cut na mahaba

uka : cut na malalim

tawa : laugh

halakhak : matinding tawa, tunog baga (lungs 

           tange!) na may tubig

kiskis : ni-rub

kaskas : ni-rub rub rub, madiin

inamoy : inilapit ang ilong

nilanghap : si-navor ang amoy, nasarapan

sininghot : shabu na ang tinira, go!

umusli : umextend

lumawit : puwede ng 

          paglambitinan

          (yun oh!)

itnok : itlog + manok, getz? ('ala kayo t.v.?)

itlog : puwede isang dosena

betlog : kapag dalawang piraso lamang ng itlog,

         o isang pares (tamaaaaa!)

bitlog : ‘pag si Aling Dionisia ang magsabi 

         

tink yu biri mats!!!

Ano ang Pinagkaiba? =)

warat :    nagkahiwa-hiwalay

wasak :    wala ng natira, nadurog 

           to the max

wakwak :   hiwa, tas’ bumuka pa

pinindot :    pi-nush

pinihit :     ikinabig pakanan o 

              pakaliwa, may gigil

bibig :    outer area lang

bunganga : hanggang loob, pati tonsils

umbok :    slight lang na bukol

bukol :    umbok na mumurahin ka

hipo :    tats tats lang (touch bobo!), 

          pasagi or dampi lang

dakma :   binigla at hindi na pinakawalan

sakmal :  bibig na ang ginamit, ‘di na 

          napigilan

ipinasok :    inilagay sa loob

isinuksok :   inilagay sa loob, tas’ isiniksik 

              pa

bungi :    ilang ipin ay missing in action

bungal :   gums ang pinaka-starring

Funny! Funny! ; )

Punasan ko yung harap ni Ate Cynthia.....(takbo na Ma'am dali!)

- the janitor wants to clean window 2 of the    Registrar's Office

Iniwan ko lang siya Sir na nakabukas..... (pasukan yan ng hangin  lamig sige!)

- she left the computer open

Naiinis ako kasi sa gitna niya pinipisil.....(saan po ba dapat?)

- dismay over the use of toothpaste

Pisilin ninyo Ma'am sa dulo para lumabas.....(umilag! umilag!)

- how to use a correction fluid

Papatong.....(teka teka easy!)

- asking space on the table for things

Pakibunot mo na Sir.....(ay tapos na?)

- done with the USB   

Madalas naman siya pumasok sa akin.....(yihiiiiiii!)

- a student has a good attendance record

Naiinis ako kay Willy kasi pag pumupunta ako sa kanya lagi niya ako nilalabasan!.....(panay panay naman ang punta mo Ate?)

- Kuya Willy always goes out of his office

A N O ? by JTF Solivar

     The counterpart of the Filipino word “ano” in English is “what”. When asking about a thing we utter either of them depending on which side of the globe you are coming from. But the word “ano” actually has another use. We use this as a substitute for a word or name of an object that we could not remember. Consider the following uses of "ano":

Sir patingin po ng ano ko... (ay doon sa CR go!)

- a student wants to see her schedule

 

Sir patingin po ng ano niya... (ay doon kayo sa CR go!)

- a student wants to see her friend's schedule

Sir magpapa-ano po ako... (tuli?)

 - a student wants to enroll

Sir nakalimutan ko po yung ano ko... (detachable ito?)

- a student forgot to bring his clearance

Sir nagpa-ano na po ako kay Ma'am Precie kanina... (tuli uli?)

- a student was assisted by Ma'am Precie

Sir nawawala yung ano ko... (lumakad mag-isa?)                                                           - a student's clearance is missing

Sir naiwan ko ba dito yung ano ko... (nalaglag? gumulong?)

- a student misplaced her registration from

Sir ngayon lang kami kasi nag ano po kami... (galeng galeng!)

- students were late for enrollment 

 Sir yung ano ko... (hay punyeta!)

- a student inquiring about his schedule

      Certainly, "ano" is the most convenient word to say in case the word that we want to spit out escapes our memory bank for a while. But hopefully, we can erase this "habit", and be more straightforward when we converse with one another as this is slowly becoming a  not-so-nice sub-culture of ours. Nag-ano ka na? =)

 

Si SIMA !!!

      Sima has gained some degree of popularity inside the faculty room. She is mentioned quite often during light conversations among teachers. Who is Sima? Sima is simply an illusory character. So how did she evolve into one? Here is her story:

A few weeks ago, a student came up to me inside the faculty room.

Student:    Sir baka puwede pa po ako mag special exam ng prelim?

Tristan:     Hindi na puwede. I gave you all the chances before pero 

                     talagang 'di tayo magpanagpo.

Student:   Special project na lang po Sir. Sige na po special project 

                    na lang.

Tristan:     Special project pala ha! Sige, pumunta ka sa Fukushima 

                     at linisan mo yung nuclear reactor dun!

Student:   Sige Sir pupunta po ako ng Japan.

Faculty:    Ano Tris? Fuki………fuki ni Sima?

Student:   Kahit bibig ko po gawin kong panlinis Sir.

Tristan:    Sir hindi po! Fukushima po! Yung sa Japan po yung may 

                    nuclear plant!

Move over Shamcey. Here comes Sima!

Good Time!

ANG HINDI TUMAWA CONSTIPATED BUKAS

Harapin mo.......Face to Face! (by JTF Solivar)

 

        First we had telenovelas. Followed by teleseryes. Then fantaseryes. The list goes on. Now we have Face to Face on TV 5, a talakserye. This show has definitely changed the TV viewing landscape, for it showcases real-life drama, and raw emotions at their best.

        This show obviously is an offshoot of a famous show on American TV. A localized version in other words. Nevertheless, this show is the first of its kind in our country. GMA 7 recently launched a show with a similar format. But unfortunately, it is yet to give Face to Face a stiff competition. Nothing beats the first as they say.

  

        I find this show interesting since it gives us a glimpse into the life of the common tao - their problems, tribulations, and how they solve such. The show features all sorts of human relationships and conflicts involved. It mirrors what is actually happening in reality. But only a part of reality since all the guests come from only one social class: the masa.

        My challenge for this show is to guest people from the upper crusts of the society since I am sure they have interesting issues as well. Perhaps even more trivial and interesting! Why not guest matrons from exclusive villages? Will they slap faces with their Hermes bags? Will they hit each other with their Jimmy Choos?

        Ms. Amy Perez I must say is an excellent host and moderator. And a good listener too. She always looks very relaxed and composed, despite chairs flying in front of her.

         

        Kaya makisawsaw na tayo lahat. Sa pula o sa puti? Harapin mo, Face to Face!