Innumerable things have already been said about the subject matter we excitingly call love. But despite this, the said topic never ceases to startle and intrigue us. It has become an omnipresent topic or theme in literature, music, and movies. In any poem, song, or movie, for example, there will always be that element of love. It could be love for God, love for one’s family, love for country, love for others, love for nature, and the list goes on and on. Love is a topic of which people do not seem to get tired of talking about, and most of all, experiencing. Indeed, love has become an integral part of human existence. A staple food for the human soul. An appetizer, main course, and dessert, in any human conversation.
Love has taken many taxonomic forms. But if there is one type of love that has intrigued man the most, and that is more than capable of agitating the very core of our being, then it will have to be none other than romantic love, with all of its cheesy trimmings (extreme overload!). This is not meant to disregard, say for example, love for one’s family. The difference though, is that love for our family is somewhat already a given at the start of our existential awareness, some sort of a preconceived formula. This stems from the fact that norms, both religious and societal, would tell us straightforwardly or indirectly, that we have to love our parents, siblings, and other members of our family. Hence, we are predisposed, and consequentially, expected to demonstrate this kind of love.
Romantic love is different, in such a manner that we choose a person whom to love. We cannot choose our family and relatives, can we? We are born into this world already complete with a family, society, religion, and even government. It is like buying a house that is already fully furnished. But the person whom we will end up with cannot be explained in such terms. During the course of our life, we stumble upon individuals whom we choose to love, in a romantic sense. What antedates this is a certain kind of attraction which makes you drawn to a person, or stranger if I may reiterate. Why stranger? Primarily because you do not fully know that person yet (then after a break-up, you become strangers again). But despite this, you become starry-eyed, and your heart starts to sing a different tune that makes you blush melodiously. Either you are already in love with that person, or at least, nurturing romantic feelings for that person. This is as if the heavenly bodies in the universe have aligned themselves to spell L-O-V-E. See how intriguing romantic love is? To love another person is not a “given”. To love another person stems from our free will, not totally influenced by religious and societal norms. Just slightly, since we really cannot totally disregard religion and culture as they play a pivotal role in our life. Influenced or not, the final decision emanates from you. It is you who will love whoever that person is, to begin with.
Love is the bedrock of all desirable human values like compassion, kindness, sympathy, empathy, charity, generosity, and other similar virtues. But in order to define love, it will be necessary to disrobe love of all of its sugar over coatings. What really is love? Love is the initiative to love unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. We must not think of what we will gain from it. Rather, we must think of what we can give, and how much we are willing to give. True love is in the act of giving, and not in the act of receiving.
To love is an end in itself.
